Thursday, April 19, 2012

What Is Love? Is It Only Found In A Relationship?


by Sarah Davis
Plato once mentioned that human beings originally had four arms, four legs, and two faces. In his story, Zeus worried humans were too powerful in this form and split them in half, leaving all humans beings searching for their other half for the rest of eternity.  

Life has a lot of lessons.  You have a lot of days, peppered with mistakes, valued lessons, and triumphs.  As I get older, I see that these major life lessons pop up and you only really know the value of them once you've seen it, lived it, cried about it, and learned from it.  The biggest one being this idea of love.  First off, let me point out that the film industry has really battered the concept of love.  I think people are out there believing that love is elsewhere. Love is on Match.com, love is what other people have, love is only found in the home of a newly married couple who have just purchased a new home, or love is only found in someone we have never even met before (i.e. "One day, I will meet my soul-mate.") All of these things are false. Love is inside of you.  At any moment of the day, you are walking around with a lot of love (or potential love) inside of your own soul.  Other people can never take the place of this major part of who you are.  This is a really big lesson that I've taken in and learned over the past year (particularly, in my pursuits of Style & Wisdom and writing a self-help book.)

Love covers a lot more area in life than strictly finding a "soul-mate" and marrying them. Love is what is happening when you stop worrying about your flaws, love is what happens when you meet your baby for the first time, love is what happens when some guy asks you for fifty cents on the street and you treat him to a dollar.  Love is what is happening when you chase your dreams, love is what happens when you  take care of your body and when you help other people. Love is what happens when you encourage other people to be happy.

I think that a lot of the good stuff in life can get lost in this idea of hunting for the perfect relationship and brutally torturing yourself with the breakups that come along with relationships with people you were only with because you were desperately hunting for a relationship.  Life requires a lot of soul maintenance. This soul maintenance needs to be done by you and it takes time.  There are a lot of false and tempting things in the world that you might think you need to chase after, like this false illusion of a soul-mate.  This chase sucks up your energy and you start to deteriorate. 

When you begin to not feel "whole", remember that you are.  You are equipped with what you need in every single second of your life.  Any time that you are laying around crying because a "great love" didn't work out, remember that great loves DO work out.  Learn from what didn't work out in the past and actually use that as a tool for your next relationship.  

When you're not praying, eating healthy foods, making sure you're laughing every day (sounds silly, but a vital part of a healthy soul), meditating, doing things that scare you, you aren't as healthy as whatever else is sucking up all of the energy from your soul. For instance, worrying about a relationship that is already doomed and you're well aware of it, you just worry about it because it feels less scary than being alone.

So, the next time that you feel like you need to find some "missing part" of your soul in order to feel complete, happy, or loved, remember that Plato wrote a fictional story.  You are whole (inside of a relationship or while you're single.) Love comes from inside you.  

Photo Credit: Planet Blue

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